We jump through hoops to prove ourselves trustworthy to others, why can’t we allow ourselves the same?
Trust is the foundation on which good relationships are built. We feel a sense of safety when we know we can trust someone to do what they say they would when we know they have our back. What happens when we don’t trust ourselves or have lost that trust?
When we don’t have enough self-trust, we give up on our dreams, don’t complete tasks and stay in unfavourable situations for too long.
“Self-trust is the first secret of success.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
Signs that you don’t trust yourself
- You seek approval or validation from others.
- You put yourself down and let your inner critic’s voice get louder than it should be.
- You let others take the first pick for your time, energy or other resources.
- You might say yes when you mean no.
- You seem to question what you’ve said, done or decided, second-guessing yourself more often than others.
- You doubt yourself and whether you have what it takes.
- You don’t value yourself as much as you should.
- You might not feel deserving of good things or kind gestures.
We don’t always realize that our trust in ourselves has been eroded, but we only need to look at our relationship with someone we trust is like to recognize that it has.
Think about a person you have a trusting relationship with, maybe a parent, a sibling, a spouse or a child. The trust is implicit and expressed through your interactions. You both probably:
- are present, loyal and kind
- listen to each other respectfully even when you disagree
- have compassion for each other
- are truthful
- won’t betray each other
- will help each other as far as you can
- support and protect each other
- have each others’ best interests at heart.